Pre-Game – Crap, we get the Rangers home broadcast tonight, with that weenie Josh Lewin as the play-by-play man, and Tom Grieve, whose nickname is “Tag”, as the colorless color man. And it’s one of the Fox networks. God help me.
Top 1st – Kameron Loe on the mound for Texas, yet another new member of the Stupid Spelling Hall of Fame…
Let me be clear about something I’ve said previously in regard to bunting. Yes, I hate it when it’s an attempt to do nothing but move a runner over. But I’m okay with bunting for a hit, like Mark Loretta just tried, or a suicide squeeze that nets you a run. On the other hand, Loretta just laced a shot into left field that could have been a double if Wilkerson had misplayed it, so to hell with bunting…
Okay, I’m officially giving Mark Teixeira the Gold Glove again this year. Every time I turn around he’s fielding a hard-hit ball like it’s a practice grounder and turning it into two outs.
Bottom 1st – Okay, here’s why Josh Lewin is a moron. The first official hitter faced by Josh Beckett as a member of the Red Sox, Brad Wilkerson, just smacked a double to right field, to which Lewin said, “Welcome to the American League, Mr. Beckett.” Apparently Lewin forgot that the guy who hit the ball, Wilkerson, is a career National Leaguer, who is playing just his third AL game. Schmuck…
1-0 Texas on an RBI single by Michael Young, who at least has a normal name…
Beckett labored pretty badly in that inning. The stuff was there, regularly at 96-97, but they were sitting on his fastball and his location wasn’t the best. Let’s hope it’s first day jitters….
Top 2nd – Now Lewin is making fun of Manny’s hair. Like Josh Lewin has any room to criticize someone else’s looks. And he didn’t even get the description right. He called Manny’s hair “cornrows”. They’re dreadlocks, runt.
Bottom 2nd – Well, Beckett looked much better, location-wise. He gave up a hard single and a long fly ball out, but his command was much more crisp. Unfortunately, he’s already up to 39 pitches…
Top 3rd – Hey, Ernie Banks is in the house. I’ve got an autographed ball from him, a nice couplet with my autographed ball from Buck O’Neil, the man who found him for the Cubs. Always good to Ernie, a true gentleman…Now Lewin is rambling about how Greg Maddux had a lot more errors as a fielder than his teammate Tom Glavine, trying to make to foolish point about how errors and Gold Gloves don’t equate. Mercifully, “Tag” reminded him that you’ll make more errors if you reach more balls. Duh…
Don’t look now, but the Sox aren’t hitting this Kameron Loe guy, funny spelling or not.
Bottom 3rd – Uh oh. No more runs, but lots of hard hit balls, and a pitch count over 60 already. Plus I got to enjoy the pleasure of Josh Lewin ripping the Royals for pretty much the entire half inning. Hey Josh, the Royals aren’t part of this game. Focus!
Top 4th – Lorretta’s second at bat, his second hit, the team’s second hit. Now Papi, don’t hit a ground ball to Teixeira again…
Okay, Papi, I guess I should have said no ground balls, period. Boy do I hate double plays…
Bottom 4th – Jeez, another rocket. Beckett is fooling no one. D’Angelo Jimenez? I didn’t even know he was on the Rangers…
Another wild pitch. Can any catcher on the Red Sox actually, you know, catch?…
Well, it’s still 1-0, but Beckett is over 80 pitches. This could end badly…
Top 5th – Ground ball…
Ground ball…
Walk…
Deep fly ball, out. Not much joy with the bats today. Can some of our pitchers change to funky spellings on their names?…
Bottom 5th – Wow, a blessed 6-pitch inning for Beckett, easily looking the best he has all night. Now if the bats can just do something against this Loe dude…
Top 6th – Ground ball…Go Coco Go!!! Triple. Gotta say, he’s much faster than Johnny Whathisname ever was. He flat out flew around the bases. Now comes Loretta, who has the only other hits for the Sox tonight…
Ground ball. Again. Ho hum…
Ground ball. End of threat, end of inning. What’s so annoying is that even Lewin has said that Loe has thrown nothing but sinkers all night, most of which drop out of the strike zone, but the Sox keep swinging at it anyway. Just stop swinging guys, until he throws something else. It’s not like he’s used any other pitches. He’s going to throw sinkers until you boobs stop swinging at them and hammering them into the ground.
Bottom 6th – Beckett is certainly settling down. It’s only taken him 16 pitches to get through the last two innings, so he’s still under 100 for the game. Should be good for the 7th inning at least. Now if Manny “Cornrows” can start us off right…
Top 7th – Sinker, no swing, ball one. Good…
Crap slurve, no swing, ball two…
Outside, ball three…
Gift called strike…
Manny nearly kills himself fighting off an inside fastball…
Sinker, no swing, take your base. Good job Manny baby! See guys? Not that hard…
Boom! After Trot also took the first pitch, Loe decided to throw a regular fastball, which Trot just deposited into the first row in right field, 2-1 Sox…Varitek takes the first pitch…And the second. I sense a plan developing…
Boom, solid single to center field. See? Patience really IS a virtue…
Now Lowell takes ball one…then promptly ruins the good vibe by popping up a sinker that was easily a foot low. Thanks Mike…
Snow tries to re-start the vibe, taking ball one…but flies out to left field. Not a bad ball to hit though, and he got good wood on it, just right at Wilkerson…
Single for Gonzalez, the supposed weak link offensively, and that does it for Kameron Loe. Credit where it’s due, the kid was fooling the Sox all night until the seventh, when they finally realized his sinker wasn’t a strike unless they swung at it…
On comes Joaquin Benoit, and Coco is feeling it well enough to foul off the first three pitches. None of this “taking” stuff for him…By the way, Coco has a flutt4ery finger thing working on the bat handle as he waits for each pitch. Kind of annoying, actually, now that I’ve noticed it. No matter, he just whiffed on a nasty curveball that no one saw coming…
Bottom 7th - Here comes pitch number 100...nasty 88 MPH split. The pitch before was at 94,so I think there's plenty of zip left in his arm...Okay, we've got a tense one run pitcher's duel going, so what do you think the Rangers' broadcast crew just spent a few minutes talking about? A hot dog eating contest between two fans in the upper deck. Riveting television...
One-two-three for Beckett, on just 13 pitches, so he might come out for the eighth as well...Nope, he's trying to give the umpire a "good game", so he must be done. God, it's good to have pitching for a change...
Between innings - I'm officially tired of how the Extra Innings Package will show the "We'll Be Right Back" graphic during some of the commercials this year. Kinda maddening, and it makes me think the signal's been lost every time I hear the music that goes with it...
Top 8th - Nice, professional at bat for Mark Loretta, who just drew a walk on a borderline pitch to lead off the inning...
Wow. Papi just swung through a fastball that would have landed in Fort Worth if he'd connected, and followed it up with a rope down the right field line that barely went foul. He's got Benoit timed pretty well here...So Benoit pulled the string and struck him out on an 85-MPH slop ball. Gotta say, that was a good pitch to throw there...
Ball four to Manny, who had Lewin mocking him openly in the booth during the entire at bat. I'm about to hit the mute button...
Okay ,Teixeira is making me sick with his glove. He just caught a popup by Trot a row into the stands that he had to track for twenty feet along the wall and camera bay. Finally, a Ranger first baseman who earned his Gold Glove...
Threat over on another popup, and here comes Mike Timlin for the first time this season...
Bottom 8th - And promptly surrenders a lead-off single to Teixeira. That guy's everywhere...
And following a hard out to right field, he walks Hank Blalock on four pitches. What was I saying about having good pitching?...
Now TImlin can't find home plate. He's 2-0 to Kevin Mench with the tying run on second base...
Bang, single to left field, and the Rangers' third base coach foolishly tests Manny's arm. First of all, the ball was hit really hard, so it got to Manny quickly. And second, Manny, for all of his faults in the field, has a good arm, and hit Lowell perfectly for the relay home. Teixeira is out at the plate, so now it's first and second, two outs...
Make that second and third, following one of the uglier wild pitches you're ever going to see. Settle down Mike. Just one more strike...
Ground ball to Loretta, and we go to the ninth. Whew!...
Top 9th - On comes sidearming Scott Feldman, who looks about as athletic as I do. And yet he promptly got the Sox to go down in order on eight pitches. Who knew?...
Bottom 9th - Um, here's an interesting development. Out of the bullpen to save the game comes...Jonathan Papelbon, and not the mysterious and grumpy Keith Foulke. Oh my, how the talk radio boys will be singing about this one tomorrow, no matter how it turns out...
Lewin just made the inevitable "That's All, Foulke" joke. Tee hee...
One down, on a nasty 95-MPH gasser on the outside corner...Two down, on a popup on the very next pitch...
You can always tell when the home announcers think one of their hitters just got a gift from the ump, because they become absolutely silent...
Strike three, ballgame. My oh my, did Papelbon look good in that closer role.
Thank you and goodnight ladies and gentlemen. The running diary mojo is back!
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